A Frank Discussion of the 2012 "Best Original Song" Oscar Nominees

Okay, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you, but I'm going to stick with my original plan for today, which was to highlight this year's two Oscar nominees for Best Original Song. It's, er, a pretty weak field.

Despite there being 39 other contenders -- let me repeat, THIRTY-NINE other contenders, including decent songs by Mary J. Blige, Lady Gaga, and Elvis Costello -- only the bare minimum two songs were nominated this year, signaling how little of a shit the Academy gives when it comes to music.

As a reminder, this is the category that has been won by beloved songs like "Over the Rainbow" (1939), "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" (1947), "Baby It's Cold Outside" (1949), the "Theme from Shaft" (1971), "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" (1986), and "Lose Yourself" (2003), amongst many others. (The 1990s were pretty much ruled by Disney and Celine Dion.)

But while it's been tradition since 1946 for the nominated songs to be performed during the telecast -- they've only been canceled once, in 2010, for time crunch reasons -- the Academy quietly killed the performances for this year. It's probably for the best.

With zero ado, here are your nominees:

"Man or Muppet" from The Muppets, music and lyrics by Bret McKenzie

I enjoyed the new Muppet movie, but the last thing I want to see while wearing a cocktail dress and sipping a vodka martini is a man singing a power ballad about whether he's more man or Muppet, even if he is one-half of the hilarious Flight of the Conchords duo.

"Real in Rio" from Rio, music by Sergio Mendes and Carlinhos Brown, lyrics by Siedah Garrett

 
I honestly have nothing to say about that.