Spice Girls: "Say You'll Be There"

Alright, so I know this is a sharp veer away from the summer's mission to barrel through all the artists playing at Lollapalooza this summer. But the thing is, I really like the Spice Girls.

They're not very good singers. They sound timid live, probably because they're young and inexperienced. They each answered an ad in a theater trade magazine: "WANTED: R.U. 18–23 with the ability to sing/dance? R.U. streetwise, outgoing, ambitious, and dedicated? Heart Management Ltd. are a widely successful music industry management consortium currently forming a choreographed, singing/dancing, all-female pop act for a recording deal. Open audition. Danceworks, 16 Balderton Street. Friday 4 March. 11 am-5:30 pm. Please bring sheet music or backing cassette."*

I mean, how creepy is that?

The ad promised fame, and it delivered. Of course, that was after the group had split from Heart Management, taken all the routines and songs they'd learned, and showed them to Simon Fuller, who got them a deal at Virgin Records -- so, you know, it was a winding road. They made millions of dollars and revolutionized pop merchandising and bestowed a British-flag-and-"Girl Power"-emblazoned umbrella over the decade. Then Ginger effectively broke the spell by leaving the group after just two years of international stardom, Posh (the worst singer, in my opinion) married Beckham, and their lives are forever interesting to us because of what they did in their teens and twenties.

For teen pop, it really is good music. I listened to this song with my roommate tonight, at top volume and dancing as we made lunch for tomorrow and got ready for bed, and damn if I don't remember every single word. It's catchy, it's happy, and I realized it was the Spice Girls who first taught me how to appreciate harmony.

Sorry, Beatles. Sorry, Aerosmith. Sorry Crosby, and Stills, and Nash. It was Sporty, Baby, Posh, Scary, and Ginger whose songs I sang, whose harmonies I improvised, whose music video dances I learned. (Did you know the "Wannabe" video was filmed in one, unbroken shot?)

It was probably a good thing I didn't watch them live. They really are sort of awful.

But you have to admit, that was some career to stumble into after answering a classified ad promising a recording deal. In the age of American Idol and the X Factor and the Voice and is there something called Duets now? I can't keep track. But these days, you don't get famous by answering a classified ad -- at least, not in a way you'd write to mom about.

But back in my day, in the mid-nineties, when I was singing Hanson into a hairbrush and wearing out my VHS copy of the girls' awful (but sort of wonderful) (but actually awful) full-length feature film Spice World -- a girl could dream.

The stance of Girl Power. Via The Guardian

* Note: All quoted history taken from Wikipedia, so, you know, I'm fairly sure it's accurate. Why would Wikipedia lie to me, right?

Hanson: "Thinking 'Bout Somethin'"

Let's cast our minds back to 1997. Gas was $1.12 a gallon, Bill Clinton was (barely) still president, Steve Jobs reclaimed the helm of Apple Computers, Mike Tyson bit off part of Evander Holyfield's ear during a boxing match, the tobacco companies were forced to weather their first huge legal loss, we all learned the phrase "El Nino," and at age 21, Tiger Woods became the youngest golfer ever to win the Master's. And, of course, there was the music. Here's the top 12 songs from that year:

1. "Candle in the Wind," Elton John
2. "Foolish Games / You Were Meant for Me," Jewel
3. "I'll Be Missing You," Puff Daddy and Faith Evans
4. "Un-Break My Heart," Toni Braxton
5. "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down," Puff Daddy
6. "I Believe I Can Fly," R. Kelly
7. "Don't Let Go (Love)," En Vogue
8. "Return of the Mack," Mark Morrison
9. "How Do I Live," LeAnn Rimes
10. "Wannabe," Spice Girls
11. "Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)," Backstreet Boys
12. "MMMBop," Hanson

Alright, so we probably could have guessed that the Backstreet Boys and the Spice Girls wouldn't stick around long. Toni Braxton, En Vogue, and Mark Morrison have done alright; according to Wikipedia, they're still "active" musicians, though the 90's were their unequivocal heyday. Jewel and LeAnn Rimes have maintained respectable careers, and R. Kelly has maintained a career of sorts, though the timelessness of "I Believe I Can Fly" really pales in comparison to some of his earlier, raunchier tracks, such as 1993's "I Like the Crotch on You." A true wordsmith.

That leaves us with the Top 12's heavyweights: Elton John had that year's #1 hit with "Candle in the Wind," a song written in 1973 about Marilyn Monroe's death. It surged back into popularity in the late 90's as a memorial song for Princess Diana. Another tribute song, "I'll Be Missing You," in memory of the Notorious B.I.G., was cobbled together by Faith Evans and the artist formerly known as Puff Daddy, the only artist to appear twice on the list. Too bad he no longer exists.

And that's a wrap!

Oh wait. There's also Hanson, eeking in at #12. They had this little hit in the 90's called "MmmBop" to which fifth graders like myself mmbopped around our friends' basements, dancing and using hairbrushes as microphones, discussing who was the cutest Hanson, and deciding that their Oklahoma background meant they were not only talented and attractive, but also down to earth, wholesome, and our realistic future husbands.

Eventually we moved on to other (likely shorter-haired) heartthrobs. But those Hanson brothers kept at it, and for almost 15 years since the release of "MmmBop," they've been honing their craft, touring, getting married (dammit), and cutting records. Their newest, released last year on their own label, is their eighth studio album and features this song as the lead single. I'm partial to the music video, which is an homage to the Blues Brothers, a movie released the same year the eldest Hanson was born. But through the years the child prodigies (too strong a word?) have grown even more talented, and they haven't forgotten what we liked in the first place -- the great harmonies, the catchy licks, and the meaningful lyrics.

Before writing this post, I'd never read the lyrics to "MmmBop," but it does actually have words other than onomatopoetry. The then-12, -14, and -17-year-old boys were singing about finding the one or two relationships that will last a lifetime and holding on until your hair falls out. ("You have so many relationships in this life ... / So hold on to the ones who really care / In the end they'll be the only ones there / When you get old and start losing your hair.") The brothers lived that, too; each is already married with children in multiples of two. [See guide.]

[A guide to the Hanson Brothers]

Isaac, born 1980, guitarist, prominent facial hair, married, 2 kids

Taylor, born 1983, lead singer and pianist, no facial hair, married, 4 kids

Zac, born 1985, drummer, scant facial hair, married, 2 kids

In this new song, more than a decade later, the Hanson men have apparently had enough: "I've been thinking 'bout somethin' other than you." And it sounds like there's some juicy backstory: "I've been getting the love that moves me while you've been getting around." This holds up as a satisfying break-up song, complete with an upbeat tempo and happy major chords. It's about moving on, something the Hanson brothers are familiar with as they've navigated the path from child stardom to long-lasting musical careers.

There are many reasons I'm glad it's now 2011 and not 1997. The 90's slow jams have been replaced by hip-hop, we've got a non-intern-prone Democrat in the White House, and though we've lost Steve Jobs, he left behind an indelible mark on both technology and society. Also, when Hanson releases their first beer label next year -- yes, beer label, an IPA called  "MmmHop" -- I'll be old enough to drink it and enjoy the full Hanson flavor.

Okay that sounded better in my head.

Oh hell, why not?